Fringe Q&A: John Hastings

Both moods of John Hastings answer our questions

feature (edinburgh) | Read in About 5 minutes
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John Hastings
Photo by Mandee Johnson
Published 07 Aug 2022

Hey Fest. I filled this out once while angry once while happy. Please include both answers to show the "duality" [JH]

If you reviewed your own show, how would you describe it?

Happy John Hastings: 5 stars. Good at everything. Give him the award. Reverse the Brexit. Buy him a club sandwich.

Grumpy John Hastings: In its current state? Comedian feels it will get somewhere but was raised proper so has self doubt and anxiety that was mistaken for ADHD. It is your classic white straight gent doing stand-up. The big topics like “bone death are covered”. Seriously it got four stars from Chortle already so how about you stop all giving me stress shits and buy a ticket. It’s good. I almost cry. It’s a whole thing.

Tell us about your first Edinburgh experience?

Happy John Hastings: I got off a train and looked at the medical insanity of that skyline. Felt I was on an other planet then I believe I got drunk in an alley and blindly walked my way through my first Fringe. The Fringe does develop a this and them quality mainly because you cannot describe it. It’s like an artsy middle class arts festival with a severe amount of cocaine and stag do abuse. Makes no sense until you have seen a man named Terry being upset at the lack of quality in the performance and his WKD blue.

A grumpy John Hastings, photo by Mandee Johnson

What’s the one piece of advice you’d give a performer coming to Edinburgh for the first time?

Happy John Hastings: Give me all the stars and awards and audience or I am gonna be frankly ticked off a little bit.

Or

Grumpy John Hastings: Two things: a) One you are gonna cry. It’s a pressure cooker and a lot of the Fringe audiences have seen too many shows that day so they are burned out from laughing so that silence is actually positive, just counter intuitive to what we the “clowns” (narcissists) expect from the audience; b) some Edinburgh residents do not want us in their city. They do not understand that we are bringing tourist and tax revenue to their city. They will be rude to you on the street. Be rude back. These are assholes.

Now I know what you are thinking. You are thinking did you use this question to take a swipe and Edinburgh residents who resent the Fringe? Yes I did. I will take one at the Fringe Society too. If you're a large body that charges thousands of people money they don’t really have to come and rebuild their jobs after a global pandemic, don’t cry poverty. You seem like cunts. I never used the app or the half price but. I resent a company that cannot seem to answer the question “well what is it that you do” responding with a list of stuff they can’t do.

Real advice: don’t talk to publications when grumpy. You are way too honest.

What do you do to relax in August?

Happy John Hastings: Leave Edinburgh on the 28th. I spent two years clinging to survival through fucking covid. We here to work boys and girls. (Work means smoke weed in the meadows).

Or

Grumpy John Hastings: I mean it’ll be different in years previous. I used to smoke cigarettes like the filters contained the key to eternal youth. Now that I knocked that on its head, I am bot really sure. Grind my teeth? I want to have some fucking killer insightful joke answer but honestly I am responding to this after reviewing notes for the show this article is promoting and I honestly keep thinking “work on the show, that’s how you relax you goon”. So I am gonna say this August to relax I will try and think calm thoughts. Drink a strong coffee. Then if I need to really let my hair down, I will fart in the face of a rude person.

What is the best or most inspiring show you’ve seen in Edinburgh?

Happy John Hastings: I don’t honestly see a lot. Ari Shaffir at Late n Live pretending to be a musical comedian and then the crowd hating it so much they sang ALL of b=Bohemian Rhapsody. Best set of stand-up comedy was Pat Burtscher in 2012 at the old top seceret comedy club directly in Covent Garden.

What show are you most looking forward to seeing this Fringe, and why?

Happy John Hastings: I wanna see Alfie Brown, Shelf, Will Duggan (even though he got pretty red wine drunk and then slept in my bed with me and snored), Laura Davis, Larry Dean and anyone else who is my friend. I only support friends.