Gareth Waugh on Fatherhood

The Edinburgh-based comedian advises on how to be a new dad in Auld Reekie

feature (edinburgh) | Read in About 2 minutes
33751 large
Gareth Waugh
Photo by Troy Edige
Published 27 Jul 2023

As a new dad it is my duty to tell every single person (and publication) that I am a new dad. Those are the rules, I’m so sorry. My son was born at the very end of 2022, so I am still navigating my way through everything that being a parent entails. Poop, snot, puke and everything in between.

Edinburgh is a beautiful old city, full of history as such here is the first piece of advice for any soon to be dads. When you leave the hospital with your partner and child for the first time make sure whatever route you take home avoids any cobbled streets… Your partner will thank you.

Nappies really aren’t as bad as you might think. The first few will make it seem like your baby has spent their time in the womb drinking nothing but Guinness; and they take some wiping let me tell you. However as Edinburgh residents we are born with a special ability to not notice bad smells – Auld Reekie has prepared you for this your whole life. Is it hops from the breweries or is it an forgotten egg sandwich under your car seat, who knows!

The tired parent trope is very real and sleep deprivation is inevitable but also a cool way to feel like you’re on drugs without doing anything illegal (I laughed at a sausage on and off for two hours on Christmas Day).

Be prepared to notice prams and other babies like you never have before. Have they always been here? Yes. You just now find yourself in different places than you used to go. You will find yourself at an M&S café in a shopping centre you never visited previously like Craigleith or The Gyle and its like stepping into a sensibly clothed Narnia, this is where you belong now. You and everyone else who still remembers Stereo nightclub. And it’s a bit sentimental but try and enjoy it, I guess.

Plus you’ve now a free pass to enjoy cartoons! Final piece of advice – watch Bluey and thank me later.